Well the flaky flaky girl left me a message last Saturday. And that really screw with my head. Now i am confused. Does she like me ? If not? Why is she messaging me? Am i being unwittingly lull and herded to some slaughtering house to be maimed and butchered. Or she does like me? And in some way she messaging me to let me know? Nah... i am definitely getting butchered.
Anyway beside that, I started realize being 30 plus, single and underachieving makes you react to life in a very hyper mode. I know that already but i really have no idea how much it actually fucks my brain up. It's like everything you know, learned or experience get thrown in an instant and you embrace your animal instinct. Go forth and procreate!
I am slamming the brake on this. What happen to improving myself? Learning more about myself? Being better? Being daring. Coming out of my comfort zone. What happened in this last few month that made me so? The realization that i am all alone, and i want someone there for me. Even if she is not right for me.
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